High Self-Esteem, Part II

by

John Stephen Mauldin, MLA (not AI assisted)

All right reserved, copyright © 2025

(continued from Part I)

But for the grace of God, there go I.

We may say this to ourselves when encountering someone for whom we have an aversion and, therefore, remind ourselves that we may be equally offensive to others or possibly to that very person who offends us. We may choose to say this aloud or to ourselves when among those who are gossiping or backbiting, which is something we should never do; for gossiping or backbiting is a sign of being unhealthily attached. But by the grace of God, there go I, also reminds us that we are not better than others.

Easy does it.

We often try too hard, which many times leads to mistakes and wasted energy. This saying, although profoundly elementary, could save us from woeful suffering, ill health, failure, and a poor image of ourselves. Be good to yourself. Easy does it.

First things first.

When faced with many things to do, we must stop and ask ourselves—what urgently needs our attention? What is the first priority? What is the second priority, etcetera? In this way, we’ll put first things first.

How important is it?

When the driver in front of you is mindlessly talking on a cell phone, oblivious to the green light until it turns red, it is irritating. But how important is it? The light will turn green in another minute or two. Will that extra wait truly make any difference in your life? If someone calls you a bad name, is it any more important than if he said you have green hair?

You know you don’t have green hair, so if someone said you have green hair, it probably wouldn’t threaten your self-esteem. Neither should we be disturbed by someone calling us a bad name. For, if we know who we are, being called a derogatory name will be purely immaterial. We should simply make it a point to avoid such a person politely. So, when we encounter an irritating situation or person, we must ask, how important is it?

Is this situation my responsibility?

Each man and woman is their responsibility. When this self-responsibility is truly assumed, he or she has all that can be managed. We, of course, assume responsibility for our children and the elderly. Yet even our responsibility to them is sometimes limited. The gist is that we must avoid the co-dependency of trying to fix someone else; should we do so, we forfeit our sovereignty, much as a king would abdicate his divine right to rule; likewise, in such a case, we would lose our divine right to rule over ourselves.

So, we mustn’t give away our power by trying to fix someone outside of our responsibility. We must ask, is he or she my responsibility? Is this situation my responsibility?

Just for today.

I will not try to tackle all my life’s problems in one day. Just for today, I will be happy. Just for today, I will not try to make everyone and everything adjust to my liking but instead take life as it comes to me. I will not try to regulate anyone but myself. Just for today, I will exercise my mind with intellectual stimulation and my body with exercise, preferably in the fresh air.

Today, I will act and dress in an attractive way. I will not be disrupted by hurry, indecision, or fear. I will enjoy the beauty of the world alone for thirty minutes. I will not worry about trying to do these things for the rest of my life or even tomorrow, but just for today.

Keep it simple.

Simplicity—it is often a characteristic of truth and beauty. At the same time, the beautiful and truthful can be expressed with extraordinary complexities. Yet, they commonly derive from a simplified idea. Sir Isaac Newton’s book The Principia begins by establishing elementary thoughts upon which notions of profound intricacies are based. And as a builder begins with four bricks to erect an architectural wonder, Beethoven began with four notes to build The Fifth Symphony, that sparkling city of musical grandeur.

Likewise, rather than beginning with the complex, let us reduce our challenges through their simplification. Keep it simple. Indeed, we all tend to make life too complicated, although it seems the best solutions are simple, as exemplified by these twelve sayings. Memorizing them will help to clarify our lives and keep it simple.

Keep an open mind.

Open-mindedness allows learning, innovation, and progress, virtues that are stopped by a closed mind. Being open to new ideas is a youthful characteristic and a hallmark of high self-esteem. This does not imply that we should accept all ideas. Some ideas are quite bad. Open-mindedness simply means that we might want to consider ideas that are new to us. We will make progress in our lives if we keep an open mind.

Let it begin with me.

Let the virtues you wish to see in others begin with you. Think about the good you wish to see in the world, particularly the immediate world in which you live. Then think, let it begin with me, followed by meaningful action.

Live and let live.

Aristotle offered sage advice to his fellow citizens and did so succinctly by kindly saying, “Mind your own business.” What others do is their problem. We may not like it. Yet, unless it adversely affects us, we should be independently detached. The foremost exceptions are our underage children, the sick, and the elderly; and, even then, as hard as it may seem, we should be healthily detached from them as well. In other words, we should not enable their codependency by allowing them to control or manipulate us. This detachment will draw them closer to us and us closer to them.

Of course, this does not absolve us from standing against the salient threats we have discussed earlier, for these adversely affect us and our posterity. All the while, let us never become busybodies, so unconsciously obsessed with our weaknesses and flaws that we project them into the lives of others rather than mustering the courage to gaze into our autobiographical mirror with honesty and, there, own and manage them. By sharp contrast, the best way is to live and let live.

(continued in Part III)